Weather and denial01
“I do not trust this false spring.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
The field guide
Things Gardeners Say
Specific sentences from people who know a cheap plant can require an expensive plan.
Gardener humor lands hardest when it names the exact ridiculous thing that happened: the compact plant, the lost glove, the budget that became a greenhouse. This living collection is edited from house seeds and, when approved, permissioned community submissions.
Weather and denial02
“Full sun, according to whose property?”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Weather and denial03
“The forecast is a personal attack.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Weather and denial04
“It is not dead. The weather and I are negotiating.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Weather and denial05
“I watered because it was supposed to rain.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Weather and denial06
“I did not water because it was supposed to rain.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Weather and denial07
“The frost date is more of a dare.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Weather and denial08
“The wind has redesigned the garden.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Weather and denial09
“I need the rain, not this personality disorder.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Weather and denial10
“It was seventy yesterday, so obviously we are getting snow.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife11
“The deer reviewed my planting plan overnight.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife12
“I planted a buffet and forgot to charge admission.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife13
“Deer resistant is a mood, not a guarantee.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife14
“They ate everything except the plant I wanted gone.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife15
“My hostas are now abstract art.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife16
“The rabbit has a stronger harvest schedule than I do.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife17
“I grew dinner. It just was not mine.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife18
“The squirrels have rejected my boundaries.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife19
“The chipmunk is running an unauthorized seed bank.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook
Gardeners vs wildlife20
“The birds planted better sunflowers than I did.”
What was happening when this was said?
From the SGS field notebook