REAL GARDENERS. REAL DIRT. THE SH*T ONLY WE UNDERSTAND.

Translation service

Garden Spouse Translator

What the gardener said, what the household heard, and why there is another pot in the car.

The translator is for the people who hear “five minutes outside” and understand that dinner needs a backup plan. The format stays affectionate: we are documenting domestic field notes, not making spouses the punchline.

Garden spouse translator01
Do not throw that pot away; it has seniority.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Garden spouse translator02
I need five minutes outside and no follow-up questions.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Garden spouse translator03
I moved it again. This location feels more accountable.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Garden spouse translator04
The plant was twelve dollars. The spot for it cost nine hundred.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Garden spouse translator05
I said I was done buying plants, not done receiving them.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Garden spouse translator06
This is not a mess. It is a staging area.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Garden spouse translator07
Please do not mow until I determine what that is.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Garden spouse translator08
I did tell you. I was holding a shovel.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Garden spouse translator09
The garden is finished in the same way laundry is finished.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Garden spouse translator10
We do not need another bed. We need the lawn to surrender.

What was happening when this was said?

From the SGS field notebook

Put your own field note in the pile